Life By The Hay

When Dave and I were dating, we would go to my Grandparent's house and he would help me take care of my Grandma Jeanette if my Grandpa had to go out of town. I fell in love with Dave watching him help me take care of my Grandma. My Grandma Jeanette died just three months after Dave and I were married. I was really close to my Grandma, and although she was sick and suffered from dementia, it was hard to see her go. It was only fitting that we name our first daughter, Audrey Jeanette, after my mom's mom.

For Valentine's Day, my Grandpa sent us each a copy, in his own words, of how he met and fell in love with my Grandma. I had heard bits and pieces before, but never all these details. I loved reading it, and I can't wait to one day read it to my Audrey Jeanette.

“My True Love”
By Dale T.
It’s been a beautiful Sabbath day, I just celebrated Valentine’s. I had a nice strawberry dessert at the home of my friends, Linda and Tom Draper, then drove up to the cemetery in the evening to visit Jeanette’s grave. While visiting the Draper’s, they wanted to show me a short clip of a movie and hear the song The Man I Love with Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant. That was one of the songs Jeanette enjoyed, therefore, I decided to write up for my children and grandchildren how I met my true love.
In 1946, I returned home from the military, having served 4 years in the Air Force. I thought it unfortunate, I was not able to go overseas. They made me a pilot instructor instead. I endured the war without glory or fame. I was happy to be able to serve and felt it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. In the fall, I entered the University of Utah, which was like starting life all over again. It was a good life in the military as an officer and a pilot, with many privileges, not only in pay, but also the opportunity to fly, which I loved. I was almost tempted to stay in the military. However, I was glad to come home and start life anew at the University of Utah. It was a challenge to get back to the life of a humble student. I joined the Sigma Chi fraternity with friends such as Spencer Hatch, Beech Adams, Lyman Clark, Clark Adams and other good friends from Davis County. In the spring of 1947, 4 of us decided we would seek our fortune with a high adventure. We went and bought a large army surplus truck and loaded it with fruit. I, having much experience in buying and selling fruit, drove the first load to West Yellowstone. We started the fruit business so people going into Yellowstone Park would be able to take a sack of delicious fruit. We immediately met opposition from the local grocers being informed by the police that we could not sell without a state permission. We closed shop and rushed up to Bozeman and bought a permit near West Yellowstone. We opened a fruit stand near the gate at West Yellowstone where the cars lined up to enter Yellowstone. We had a captured market as the people sat waiting, they could look at the fresh peaches, pears, cherries, apples, etc. We also built a cabin on a piece of property that a man loaned us so we had a place to live and store our fruit. We were in business only a few days when a group of coeds who had come from Weber College to work in the big Union Pacific Restaurant where the trains came in each day bringing tourists from the east to load buses and tour through Yellowstone. This group of girls came to visit us. I remember clearly how 3-4 of them were very talkative and of course checking the men out. I noticed one other back behind us near the trees balancing on a log. She was tall, slender, beautiful, dark-haired girl with moccasins, an Indian jacket and braided hair, but very quiet. I thought ‘that’s the one I would like to meet.’ She didn’t say much, but after a little conversation, the girls asked if we would like to join them at a dance. We accepted and that was the beginning of my wonderful relationship with Jeanette. Three of the fellows decided they would work as Rangers along with helping with the fruit business. I was to be the full-time driver bringing a load of fruit up a couple of times a week. After a couple of weeks of dating, I was always anxious to go down and get the fruit and come back as soon as possible to be with Jeanette. Where the girls worked, they served a lunch and then a main meal in the evening and then finished about 7 o’clock but had to be in the dorm by 9 o’clock. It was a fun summer dancing, which Jeanette loved. I wasn’t a good dancer, but just to be with her, I would endure. We had swims in the river, fishing, and picnics, where the girls would always bring us chicken or leftovers from the restaurant, which was very nice. I remember one memorable afternoon riding with Jeanette through the forest and having a chance to visit about our future plans. She was planning to go to the University of Utah where I was and that made me very happy. She was beautiful and a joy to be with. She loved to do almost anything, except fishing, although she did endure some of our fishing excursions. She would rather be dancing, riding horses or just going for a walk. The summer work only lasted for June, July and part of August then business was over. Beech Adams had another exciting thing to do and that was to go to Canada and buy some surplus twin engine planes for $300, which was an unbelievable price. I asked Jeanette if she could ride home with me and she had permission from her father. The girls were supposed to go back on the train, the same as they arrived. I had made a commitment and her father was holding me to it and also Jeanette. I was not able to go to Canada and buy a plane with the others. That was a great disappointment, but a blessing also. Jeanette said that it had been a wonderful summer romance and we were happy there was no smoking, drinking, drugs, sex or any of those things that young people face today. We were just happy being together and enjoying the western outdoor life at Yellowstone. It was wonderful to know that we would be in school together. I was getting serious about marriage and settling down with Jeanette, although I didn’t tell her so. I saved $5000 in the military, which was a lot of money in those days, to put down on a house. Being in the military and our fruit business had been very profitable. I was rich enough to think about marriage. We started school together and I was enjoying the activities and Jeanette was at Tri-Delt.
I was in the Sigma Chi so we had some nice exchanges through the fraternity and sorority. I was living at home at that time. Later in the fall, Bishop Nelson Clayton called me and rather abruptly told me that the Lord had called me on a mission. The service men had taken the attitude that we had already served a mission because when we went into the service, we were given a blessing and set apart to do missionary work by example whenever possible, teaching. I was surprised when Bishop Clayton made such a direct request. I asked him if it wasn’t the general procedure to ask a person how they felt about a mission. I was prepared to tell him that I already served 4 years in the military and we counted that as a mission, which most of the veterans had planned on. He informed me that was not the correct procedure, but that he had been inspired to call me on a mission that I would have the prerogative to accept or refuse the call. He was not very interested in knowing how I felt about a mission. I think he knew I was pretty serious about Jeanette and he didn’t want to get involved in that problem. He asked me to think and pray about it. I talked with my father who was the Stake President at the time and told him that I was already 4 years behind because of the service and another 2 ½ years would be a long time before I started out on my career for life. I was trying to keep up with the other men coming back from the military. He promised me if I would accept the call, I would not be behind any of the others. I would be blessed and rewarded for my dedication. I talked to Jeanette about it and to my surprise, she thought it would be nice and kind of indicated that we could commence our relationship when I returned. However, her father was not so understanding and told me in a nice way that he was concerned about me being serious with Jeanette and then up and leaving on a mission. Jeanette was 22 years old, which I guess was considered old when not married in those days. I decided that I should accept the call and forgo the joy and happiness of marriage to serve because missionaries were needed right after the war. I did not ask Jeanette to wait for me, but I loved her and hoped that she might be available when I returned. It was a sad departing at the railroad station. I hated to leave her and thinking it would be 2 ½ years before I would be able to kiss her again. The conductor finally got us on board with tears in our eyes and thinking that would be a long time before we met again and a lot of things could happen. The trained stopped in Ogden and lo and behold, my friends put Jeanette in a car and raced her to Ogden so she could see me once more before departing, which was sweet of them, however, it made it even harder to leave. I can’t remember whether we were supposed to kiss a girl or not when we had already been called as a missionary, but I didn’t keep that ruling. It was an exciting adventure riding that train to New York, which seemed like a long time, 2-3 days. We then boarded the Queen Mary, which was also an interesting experience, from England to Paris, and from Paris to Prague, Czechoslovakia. I enjoyed the trip and to tell the truth, I wasn’t that excited about doing missionary work. I was in charge of the missionaries so as the train went through Switzerland, I saw a big advertisement that the World Olympics was there. I talked with the other missionaries and said “I know Alf Engen. He was the most famous skier in the world and was married to Evelyn Pack. I had dated her sister Rosylyn Pack, so I talked with the missionaries about taking 3-4 days delay en route as called in the military. Whenever you went any place, you would ask for a delay en route and then you could make up the days on the other end.

I was quite persuasive, but none of the other missionaries agreed with me to get off the train to visit the World Olympics and be the guests of Alf and Evelyn Engen who were my friends. I thought there would certainly be no harm in enjoying a little adventure before starting my missionary career. I asked another to take my responsibility, bid them farewell and took my pack and went to the Olympics. I had to admit I did have guilty feelings and it wasn’t near as enjoyable as I thought it would be, even though Alf and Evelyn were very kind and hospitable. They helped make arrangements for me to stay and eat with them. After 3-4 days, I thought I should be on my way. The joys of the world kind of faded with my feeling of responsibility to do missionary work. I was on a train, which stopped at the Austrian border. Austria was then in the control of Russia. While we were waiting, an American Captain came by and asked if I was American. I told him “Yes” and he asked where I was going and I told him ‘To Czechoslovakia” and he said, “I would not advise you to continue on this train because there was a group of Mormon missionaries that went through here last week and the Russians took them off the train in Austria and we don’t know what happened to them.” I was sick at heart and really sorry I was not with those missionaries no matter what they had to suffer. I wanted to be a martyr at that time. I asked him how else I could get to Czechoslovakia and he told me I could take the train to go through Germany and come in from the west. I took his advice and was enjoying the ride when I saw the train stop at the German city of Nuerburg where the war trials were being handled. I thought that no one should miss this opportunity to watch the German Generals be prosecuted for all they did to the Jews.

I grabbed my bag and jumped off the train and went to see the War Trial. It was an interesting experience, but after 2-3 days, I thought that I certainly should be heading to the mission field. I called the Mission President and asked him if he might be able to meet me at the station the next morning. He said he would be glad to meet me with the other missionaries. I started to explain that I had sent the other missionaries ahead. He was very upset and gave me a scolding and said, “I’ll see you at the station.” When I descended from the train, President Toronto was standing there looking around and asking “where are the missionaries?” I said “I told you that I sent them ahead and I had a little delay en route.” He gave me another scolding and said “get in the car” and never said another word to me until we arrived at the mission home. He then took me into the office and gave me a lecture about being responsible and serious and this neglected duty etc. Finally, he said to me, “I have half a notion to put you on the night plane back to Paris and on home.” I think to his surprise I said, “If that’s how you feel it would be alright. I’ve had a very nice trip: exciting and interesting but I’ll be happy to go home also.” After my remarks he made a harsh statement by saying, “Tingey, you’re not going home. You’re going to stay here and sweat this out with the rest of us.”

Then he called in the other missionaries and told them of the trials and tribulations they had had with the Russians when they were taken off the train. They had been held in custody in a rain storm and were finally released to come on with the mission. I committed to the President that while I was there I would do my best. I was a very dedicated and committed missionary although I surely missed Jeannette and loved receiving her letters of encouragement and assurance that she still loved me.

The mission was a wonderful experience, and we were there when the Russians came in and took over the nation, which was a very scary experience, but we all felt we were in the hands of the Lord and he protected us. President Toronto assured us that the communist would not bother the missionaries because they didn’t want to have problems or trouble with the Americans. I had wonderful companions, Alan Sperry in Prague the capitol city, who is a lifelong friend, and Richard Winder in Berno, such a great friendship I enjoyed. People loved the missionaries and they loved Americans and were anxious to do anything for us, although they were in dire straits after the war, no food, no fuel or energy. It was a terrible situation, but they tried to make it as pleasant as possible. As soon as the Czechs new that we are American, they loved the Americans because they had liberated them from the Germans. One occasion when we were trackting in a dark apartment with no heat in the corridors, very cold in the winter, a woman came to the door and asked if we were Americans. We told her yes and she said “Come in. You’re welcome. I would like to give you a nice cup of tea.” We did drink Czesky tea, which was rosebuds boiled in water and that was always good. We thanked her and said that we drink Czesky tea. Halfway through a big steaming cup of tea, I said to Bro. Sperry, “This does not taste like Czesky tea. It sure has a different taste” and besides, I was feeling kind of numb on the tongue. I said “maybe we better ask her” and he said, “Don’t embarrass the lady. She’s trying to be nice to us. Just drink it and say nothing”, which we did and in the end, I was feeling a little woozy and have to admit, warm and cheerful. I said to her, “That was certainly good Czesky tea” and she said “I wouldn’t give Americans that rotten Czesky tea. That was true Russian tea with a double shot of vodka in it.” Vodka, they tell me, has no aroma and hardly any taste, but I have to admit, we were a little loopy on our door to door trackting that day. I don’t remember ever being that warm or feeling so good thereafter. I can see why the Czechs and the Russians like vodka. We witnessed the Russians coming in and taking over Czechoslovakia. They were very vicious and cruel to the Czechs. Anyone opposing they shot them. As foolish missionaries are, we walked into the main streets of Prague during the takeover and saw a machine gun nest on every corner and people being arrested and escorted away. Students made a march on the government building demanding to hear from their wonderful President. The communist promised if they would wait they would be able to hear from him that he had turned the government over to the communists. In half an hour, they were surrounded by troops who started to beat them with rifle butts and any opposed who them, they shot. One of our neighbor girls came to show us how they had beaten her, all black and blue down her back. Their wonderful Prime Minister Masaryk was also beaten to death. News came that the democratic government of Czechoslovakia had been turned over to the communist. Those were grim days, but the people still welcomed us as Americans and we were able to teach the gospel. Others became very afraid as it was not in their welfare to welcome Americans. The day finally came that we were all accused of being saboteurs and notified that we were expelled from the nation. It was a sad parting as the people came to meet us at the train. I can still see them running after the train singing God Be with You Till We Meet Again.

Those who had been on a mission for over 2 years were sent home. The remainder was sent to Germany to finish their mission. I decided that after meeting many Jewish young people from Israel attending the King Charles University that I wanted to go to Israel and see the wonderful miracles that were happening there. Joseph Smith prophesied that many wonderful things would happen and he sent Orson Hyde, a Jewish Apostle to go to the land in 1841 to rededicate it for the return of the Jews. Jews were now flowing into Israel by the thousands. Again, I could not persuade any of my missionary companions to go with me. They were anxious to get home. I decided to make the trip myself, which is a great adventure in and of itself.

Eventually on my way home in Paris, I attended a Church meeting and sat down by a young missionary. I asked him where he was from and he said Ogden. I said, “Oh, Ogden. Do you happen to know a Jeanette Dursteller?” His quick response was, “Know her? I’m engaged to her.” That was the most devastating event in my whole life. I said, “Engaged to her?” and he said “Yes. I dated her before I came on a mission and asked her to marry me and we are engaged.” It was a disappointing Church service and I left early. After my visit with Jeanette’s supposed fiancé, I was on the train heading for the airport. I carried with me through the mission a very beautiful picture of Jeanette. I saw my bags sitting there and couldn’t bear to have that picture with me anymore. I took it out of my suitcase and threw it out of the train window and have regretted it ever since. I caught a flight from Paris to New York and on to Salt Lake. I did not call Jeanette. I didn’t think I could stand the encounter, but after a few days she called and said she wanted to congratulate me on finishing a mission and was proud of what I accomplished. I responded that “I think I want to congratulate you on your engagement and would wish you well.” She said, “What do you mean ‘on my engagement’? I’m not engaged.” I told her that I met her fiancé, a missionary in Paris, and he said he was engaged to you. She said, “Well, he wanted to be engaged, but I told him I didn’t want to be engaged. He put a rubber band on my finger and said ‘this will do until I get back from my mission’”. She said she was not in love with him and not engaged. I said, “Would you like to meet?” and she said, “Of course I would like to see you.” That night I was at her door and she was beautiful, dressed all in pink, her favorite color and mine too. It was a wonderful reunion. We started to date regularly and what a joy it was to be with her and know that she had also grown in the gospel. She was proud that I had served as a missionary and her dad was also happy that I had returned and rescued his daughter from ultimate old maidenhood. She was now 24 years old and more beautiful than ever. I proposed to her that summer in the hammock of her backyard and she was happy. We were married on October 27th, 1950. We had 50 wonderful years of marriage and she couldn’t have been a better wife, mother and grandmother. Her whole life was devoted to helping me with the seminary and institute, and Indian programs. She raised 7 beautiful children, who I adore and grateful for each one of you and the 25 grandkids and 5 great grandkids.
Love you,
Grandpa